I had no brothers; therefore I didn’t get the inside scoop on what happens when younger dudes gather. I was very much a girly girl growing up. So, understanding how the guy mind pings and processes when he is interested in a girl was foreign to me. Imagine my shock and surprise when both of my babies turned out to be boys! It’s been a learning curve to say the least. Over the years I have learned a few things about how the male mind and heart works through observing my husband, my sons, and my son’s friends. I’m about to let you younger ladies in on a little secret you might want to know, and it just might answer that important question of “How do I know if he likes me or not?”
Honestly, we ladies make this much more complicated than it really is the majority of the time. No lie. We get ourselves into such a twist.
We had one of those houses where kids congregated when our boys were teens, and my husband and I loved it. We loved those kids! The guys were at our house more frequently, so I learned their “male ways” through observation and interaction with them. I was also happy to get to know the sweet girls that came to our house for hang out nights too. I watched those girls get all fluttery over certain young men and listened as they consulted each other over whether or not they thought a young man might be interested in them. A tale as old as time. These conversations typically went something like this:
Girl 1: I love your scarf! So cute!
Girl 2: Thanks! I made it!
Girl 1: You’re so good at that!
Girl 2: Mike is so cute! I think I might kinda like him!
Girl 1: Yes! I knew it! You’re a catch! He better like you!
Lots of giggly laughter.
Girl 2: So… Mike keeps looking over this way. I wonder if he’s interested in me… He did ask me about my shoes when I got here.
And then I would wonder if Mike might be interested in her too! Until I realized she was in Mike’s line of sight that was actually eyeing the quickly emptying bowl of Skittles. Mike may have thought she was cute, but frankly Mike was simply interested in Skittles that night.
Honestly, we ladies make this much more complicated than it really is the majority of the time.
Listen, I’ve watched girls percolate and wrestle within themselves and among their sisterhood wondering if Mr. Cutiepie Dude was sending her the “I heart you” signals in code. Heck, I remember doing the same thing! Ugh!
I know you shouldn’t generalize, but I am kind of about to do that here. Here’s the big reveal. Drum roll… If a dude likes you—as in “I heart you” likes you—he is going to let you know he is interested in you. You will not need to wonder. It will not be in some complex code for you to unravel. You will know. I have lived it, and I have watched it many times. Yes, some guys are more bold than others in their approach, but the love signals will abound. Those around you will see it, and maybe even before you do. Here are some clues: He is going to be interested in everything you say. Dude might stand closer than normal. He is going to get into your space. You won’t miss it. So, if you’d like to reciprocate this guy’s offer of interest, send back your RSVP saying “yes.”
Here is a life hack on how to handle a potential blossoming relationship. Relax girlfriend! You are in the driver’s seat! Get to know that guy as a person before you give your heart away. Is he a good friend to his friends? How does he treat females in general? Is he kind? Responsible? Honorable? Do you feel safe when you are with him or is he reckless? What characteristics are important to you for a guy to have? Does he have those? Sure he might be cute, but don’t waste your time pining over a guy who isn’t what you are really hoping for in a relationship! He can be your friend if he doesn’t have the qualities you desire in a boyfriend. No matter how cute he is—you really don’t want to be holding onto a flimsy dream with the wrong guy when your Mr. Right walks right onto the scene!
If you can remember to stay true to who you are and what you value, go ahead and giggle with your girlfriends. It’s perfectly ok! Just know that men are a lot more simple and clear than we often give them credit for being.