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Dad’s Opinion on Modesty


Raising two daughters to dress modestly in today’s culture is not an easy thing to do. Even when they are basically well-behaved girls who hang out with a good group of friends; television, magazines and social media can easily influence their style.

To add to the fun (sarcasm!) chore of shopping for modest clothes, both of my daughters have always been tall for their age. Trust me, finding fingertip length shorts for camp when your daughters are tall is not easy! Trying to find dresses and skirts that were fashionable but not ridiculously short was near impossible. Thankfully, they both opted for floor length prom dresses!

Perhaps your daughter is average height, and you don’t have the extra stress of fitting long legs into short skirts. But, you are still concerned about how your daughter can dress modestly without being frumpy. Believe it or not, their father may very well be the voice of reason that you and your daughters need.

There were times when I wasn’t sure about the clothing choices my daughters wanted to make, so I asked my husband to weigh in. We were not the type of parents who were willing to compromise on the values with which we were raising our kids, but at the same time we didn’t want them to stand out by dressing in ways that would cause ridicule or make them lose confidence or self-esteem. Not easy. I found that by having my husband give and explain his opinion, it helped our daughters to understand and appreciate the male point of view.

For moms of daughters, it can be tricky navigating such waters and including dad’s opinion. As moms, we tend to think that dress, hair, make-up, and the like should be left to us; after all, what would dad know about such things? When given the opportunity, though, discussing these matters with dad will not only give the girls a valuable opinion, it also shows them that mother and father are united. That gives them good insight into parenting and into marriage as well.

As moms, we tend to think that dress, hair, make-up, and the like should be left to us; after all, what would dad know about such things?

What happens if dad’s opinion isn’t the one you were hoping for? Talk it out! Discuss all the viewpoints. If the conversation begins to get heated, step back; give it time to settle down. I believe most fathers just want to help and protect their daughter and her reputation and innocence. The younger the girls are, of course, the less likely they are to make a mature decision. So, even if dad does not agree with his daughter’s choice, he and mom need to present a united front.

Moms and daughters, there are many distractions that are going to come along in life that will try to threaten your relationship. Believe me, appearance can be a matter of high emotional importance. Let’s remember that ultimately most moms and dads want the same thing for their daughters…happiness, self-confidence and good moral grounding. That happens best when mom and dad come together and show their girls their love and fulfill our first duty as parents – to love, provide for, care for and protect our children.

You’ll also like How to Wake a Teenage Girl and Middle School Meltdown.


Teresa is admittedly not a cook, gardener, or skilled at crafts or anything Pinterest. She only has a kitchen because it came with her house and boasts that has never mowed "a lawn".

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