Baby girls are so sweet…until they hit about 4th grade. I’m not sure what happens at the double digits for girls internally, but lines are drawn and girls get mean to each other. Capital M-E-A-N! Some of the sweetest littlest angels that I have known have sprouted pointy horns at that age. We like to think we grow out of that stage, but sadly, we don’t.
Several months ago I was thrust into my own “girl drama”! Ugh! One of my oldest and dearest friends decided she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. Our friendship started when we were teenagers and lasted for decades. We have so much history together, having lived many of the highs and lows of life. I love her dearly.
Then…she “unfriended” and blocked me on Facebook. I felt thrust back into grade school “girl drama”, but I’m an adult. I’m not 100% sure what I did to offend her, because she never really contacted me to talk about it. She basically decided she was done with our friendship, and closed the curtain. I was shocked. It is a very sad and strange feeling to have someone close to you let you know in not so many words that your feet are no longer welcome under their friendship table.
I asked several friends for counsel as to what to do. Some of my girlies rallied around me with words of love and encouragement, and others were just as weirded out as me. I sought advice as to whether to try and contact her, to let it go, or some other answer I had not seen yet. Mostly, I was just hopeful that she would contact me and try to connect in some way to explain. But some things in life just don’t tie up into nice little neat packages. This might be one of those.
It is a very sad and strange feeling to have someone close to you let you know in not so many words that your feet are no longer welcome under their friendship table.
This is what I decided after getting counsel, and thinking about it:
1. I resolved to not get mean and spiteful. What good does that do for me? None.
2. I contacted a mutual friend of ours, and I asked her to pass on that I loved this dear friend regardless.
3. I decided that she had made her decision as an intelligent grownup to sever our friendship, so I would respect that. I am not going to try and convince her to be my friend. Who needs that? I need friends that love me unconditionally and don’t abandon ship. I am that kind of friend to those in my circle of friends. I want that in return.
4. I contacted a mutual friend of both of ours, telling her if she ever thought my friend needed me please let me know and I would be there. My door is open.
5. Finally, I listened to the Taylor Swift song, “Bad Blood” a few times. Not gonna lie.
Girl drama will probably never end, but now that we’re grown up girls, what we do when it hits will make all the difference.