Home / Relationships  / My Not-So-Sexy Valentine’s Day

My Not-So-Sexy Valentine’s Day

My Not So Sexy Valentine

I don’t want to be Debbie Downer, but I have never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. Call me a rebel but I just don’t like being told that I have to love people “more” on a day that is clearly handpicked by Hallmark! It is a conspiracy and I will one day prove this.

My dislike for Valentines may largely be due to the fact that I was always single on this day and the extensive PDA made me feel left out and irritated. Get a room people.

My girlfriends and I refused to sit around and pout because we didn’t have the affections of a boy. Instead, we went to our favorite place to eat, got a dessert that we didn’t split, followed by a movie. I think one time we even went country line dancing.

Don’t get me wrong. I love a good excuse to eat some chocolate, and for that reason alone, I will join in the festivities. But . . . I am not planning on a SEXY Valentine.

Our first few years of marriage I wanted a sexy Valentine’s Day because everyone else seemed to: sexy destinations, fancy meals, salsa dancing, poetry by the fire, and new bling. In my very theatrical, Pride and Prejudice type of romanticism, I had envisioned candlelit dinners with soul baring conversations and witty banter back and forth that eventually would lead to a Notebook-like-I-just-got-rained-on-scene back at the homestead. There have been no such rainstorms. There was no poetry. This really bothered me!

But here’s the thing….we are just not poetry people and we are also not salsa people (I mean I can bust some serious moves in my Zumba class but as a couple, that Is just not “our thing!”).

My husband is a great gift-giver and very thoughtful, but we just don’t make a big deal over this day.

Over the last 10 years, I have learned the importance of investing daily in my marriage (not perfectly). This constant attention to our growth as a couple has relieved the pressure to bank everything on a creepy naked man that has an obsession with arrows. Valentine’s Day is just that – a day. Marriage, on the other hand, is a lifetime. Don’t get hung up on one day. If we have unrealistic-pinterest-perfect expectations we will become disillusioned when our fantasy and reality collide.

Life happens, and it isn’t always sexy.

Valentine’s Day is just that – a day. Marriage, on the other hand, is a lifetime.

The kids get sick, the sitter can’t come, the plans fail, the jewelry is awful, and the restaurant is closed. Just remember, Valentine’s Day is about being with the one you love, even if it is just being at home and drinking hot chocolate and watching Netflix.

So yeah, have some fun with your love on Valentine’s Day! I know I will. But generally speaking, we keep it simple! As my mother-in-law always says, “Keep It Simple Sweetie” (KISS).

Get take out. Put the kids to bed early. Go for a bike ride if you have the privilege of living in warmer climate, and most importantly, don’t forget to eat chocolate (unless you’re allergic and breakout in hives! That would be depressing!!)

Want more ideas for Valentine’s Day? Check out Creative Dating or Valentine’s Day Gift Guide for Him and Her.


Annie is often found hiding from the monster that is her laundry pile while frantically searching for her car keys. Her goal in life is to be part of a flash mob and/or a back up singer and dancer for T-Swift.

Read more by Annie Leigh  
Review overview